


FOOLS

by cumaliciouslarry



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: F/M, Fools, M/M, Sad, i really suck at writing, larry stylinson - Freeform, theres no real ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-26
Updated: 2015-09-26
Packaged: 2018-04-23 11:05:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4874353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cumaliciouslarry/pseuds/cumaliciouslarry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Only fools do what I do</p>
            </blockquote>





	FOOLS

Harry doesn't understand a lot of things. He doesn't understand why his music is turned down by every one. He doesn't understand everyone's addiction with chocolate. He doesn't even understand why his dad left him when he was 14, claiming he wasn't his biological father. The biggest puzzlement to him, though, is why after so many years and tears, he still is in love with his best friend.

He also doesn't understand why his best friend and his girlfriend must have wild sex right next door to his bedroom. Of course, this flat is very much Louis', more so than Harry's. Hell, it's even more Eleanor's than his. However, he believes they should have a little bit more consideration. Especially considering the fact that he doesn't even leave his room unless strictly necessary. 

Right now, he's gritting his teeth and clutching his arms. With his body folded into himself, he sighs. With a tear streaked face, he accepts defeat. He won't be getting any sleep tonight.

When the thumping against the wall increases and the sound of gasped  _'i love you's_  are heard; Harry lets the sound of high pitched moans cover his sobs.

  _I am tired of this place, I hope people change  
I need time to replace what I gave away  _

Harry does this thing. He does it a lot. His mind is constantly stringing words together. He's a musician, a writer, a singer. He's passionate in his love for music. In his mind, he is wording things to match a tune, a new song. So right now, with his hunched shoulders and hot mug of tea, his mind is whirling. He's lost, standing in the kitchen at 4 AM. Sleep deprived, he barely notices the way his hands are stinging and turning a bright shade of red because of the  _scalding_ hot mug. No, but he does catch the words his mind has sang to him. Two sentences that he scrambles to write on a napkin. He stares once it's written. His newly poured tea now completely forgotten. He clenches his fists, now relishing the way his burned hands sting him. He stays that way, for how long; he doesn't know. 

His shoulders ache when he lifts his head to the sound of pattering footsteps. He's not sure whether to feel relieved when he finds a very satisfied looking Louis, instead of a satisfied Eleanor. He may just have taken the latter. Louis stops when he sees Harry. He examines him for a moment, taking in Harry's red rimmed eyes, slouched figure, distressed hair, just a mess basically. He sighs, Harry stiffens. Louis doesn't say anything as he heads to turn on the kettle for his morning tea. He does, however, glance at the napkin still set in front of Harry.

"Song lyrics?" He questions, already used to the random moments when Harry needs to jolt down lyrics. He usually carries his journal with him everywhere, but when he doesn't have it with him, he will go to whatever measures to write what he needs to remember down. Harry gives one nod before correcting his posture and turning to face Louis.

"Uh. What time is it?" Harry went for a tea around a quarter past four, he couldn't have been down for too long. "A little past five thirty." Louis mumbles through his sip of tea. Harry feels himself drop even further. 

Harry stiffly nods before turning around, napkin in hand, ready to walk back to his room. He feels the ghost of a touch on his arm and he jolts, moving his arm away as if burned. Louis drops his hand before gulping, "Eleanor and I were talking and we'd love it if you came with us for lunch later today. You have to get out of that room sooner or later." Louis shuffles on his feet, his soft fringe looking slightly disheveled, either from sleep or the amazing sex he apparently had. Harry doesn't want to know. 

"No, thank you." Harry responds curtly. Louis' face falls. He lets out an aggressive sounding sigh before throwing his hands up in the air, "Look if this is about-" but he doesn't get to finish. Harry is out and in his room before Louis could even blink. 

Harry slams the door to his room, feeling the room shrink. He's panicking, he know's he is. He just can't believe that Louis would even consider bringing up what Harry has tried so hard to forget. He falls on the floor, sobbing, shaking, trying so hard to breathe. He barely registers the banging on his door. He tries to concentrate on his breathing, but he can't. The last thing he hears is his name being called out by Louis before he's out.

  _And my hopes, they are high, I must keep them small  
_

_Though I try to resist I still want it all_

Harry's writing silently in his room. His noodles that he made for dinner sitting forgotten on his desk, untouched. It's quiet in the flat, Louis and Eleanor having gone out for dinner. Harry winces when he writes, the mug having burned more than he originally thought. He's dealt with worse, he thinks bitterly. He sighs then, he wishes he had more friends. He's got Louis, barely, who is his only friend. Then, he guesses, the people from Uni. But those are even  _Louis_ ' friends, considering Harry doesn't even  _go_ to Uni. Ignoring the overwhelming sense of loneliness, he continues writing.

_I see swimming pools and living rooms and aeroplanes_

_I see a little house on the hill and childrens' names_   

He's crying. He seems to do that a lot lately. It's true, though. The words his hand have scribbled down. Of course, he had lots of ideas about their future together when it was okay to do so. When they were both young and confused, loving only each other passionately. Who had time for girlfriends when they have the one person who will always stay by them no matter what? At least that's what Louis used to tell Harry. Back when their first kiss was shared in a dark room and Louis ended up pecking Harry's nose. Back when their _first times_  were together and they had no clue what to do. When they used too much lube and laughed way too much. When they whispered their  _i love yous_  to  _each other._ When they would whisper to one another about a future spent together, about their children's names; because their future was always meant to be together. Things change, Harry's accepted.

_I see quiet nights poured over ice and Tanqueray  
_

_But everything is shattering and it's my mistake_  

Harry honestly does not know where they went wrong. The relationship they had was so strong, everyone knew that. However, when Louis went off to Uni, being two years older, things were never the same. Louis adopted an air of arrogance and was held tightly by his adult status. He made sure Harry knew that he was busy doing things like getting a  _job_ , studying for a  _real career_. Until eventually, he showed up during the holidays with a girl. Eleanor. And everyone loved her. She knew what she wanted in life, what she wanted as a career, a stable career at that. She was smart, pretty, and had a plan. That's where Harry thinks he went wrong.

Harry has always had a problem trying to figure out who he was. What he wanted in life. He never wanted to have the typical boring life, he wanted,  _craved_ adventure. That's where his dream of being heard as a singer made him the biggest laughing stock. He didn't care, he loves singing and that was his choice. The only one who seemed to be much of a support system was his mother. Who would probably support him if he decided to fly to the moon in a cardboard box. 

Average at best, was what Louis said. He was never supportive of Harry's dream. Even now, he's always telling him it's not too late to go to Uni. Harry doesn't blame him, since he's living off of him, it's not like he doesn't have a reason for saying it. However, Harry has never been one to give up easily.

  _Only fools fall for you, only fools_  
Only fools do what I do, only fools fall  
Only fools fall for you, only fools  
Only fools do what I do, only fools fall

Despite Louis having very blatantly moved on, Harry loved fiercely. Louis tried to be as good as a best friend as he could be, but it only really hurt Harry more. When Louis suggested Harry move in with him in London, he couldn't say no. Of course, he wasn't aware that his girlfriend basically lived there too. He would have denied profusely had he known. 

  _Oh, our lives don't collide, I'm aware of this  
_

_The differences and impulses and your obsession with  
_

_The little things, you like stick, and I like aerosol  
_

_I don't give a fuck, not giving up, I still want it all_

When Harry decided to sit Louis down and confess his love for him, he wasn't properly thinking. He was a little tipsy and his feelings had been trying to burst out of him for so long. He should've considered the fact that if he needed to confess his love a second time, something was very off. Eleanor being out of the city didn't help much either. Louis, for his credit, took it in stride. Handled it like the mature person he was. Harry, on the other hand, was a blubbering mess. He screamed and he cried when Louis denied him. He blamed Louis for leaving him, not communicating, not telling Harry what he did wrong. Harry only loved with everything in his heart, it was all for Louis. Louis had loved Harry, loved him as much as he could. But, as he said, people fall out of love. People break up and people move on to bigger better things. That's what Louis did. That's what Louis said. That's what made Harry immediately sober up. Those words haunted him for the rest of his life. Of course,  _bigger brighter_  things. Because Harry was used and tainted. He was worn out, the test run. He wasn't enough to be considered as something beautiful and capable of seeming worthwhile. There was better than Harry Styles.

  _Only fools fall for you, only fools_  
Only fools do what I do, only fools fall  
Only fools fall for you, only fools  
Only fools do what I do, only fools fall  

Harry records his own music. In his own room with a microphone his mom saved up so long to buy for her son. He pushes up his mattress against a wall and sets up his own little recording booth. He dreams of doing it in a actual recording studio, but for now this will do. With his song now finished, and a text from Louis saying he's spending the night at Eleanor's flat, he sings. He lets himself go completely, giving himself over. Pouring every emotion into this song. He prides himself in connecting to his music. 

_I see swimming pools and living rooms and aeroplanes  
_

_I see a little house on the hill and childrens' names  
_

_I see quiet nights poured over ice and Tanqueray  
_

_But everything is shattering and it's my mistake_

When Louis comes home next, he's immediately drawn to the music coming from Harry's room. In the empty room, he feels the beat of the music pulse in him. He also feels the beat of his pounding heart.

  _Only fools fall for you, only fools fall_  
Only fools do what I do, only fools fall  
Only fools fall for you, only fools fall  
Only fools do what I do, only fools fall

Snatching the pink post it note from the center of Harry's bed, he reads it with shaky breaths.

_Enjoy the song. I'm such a fool. -H_

_Only fools fall for you, only fools fall_  
Only fools do what I do, only fools fall  
Only fools fall for you, only fools fall  
Only fools do what I do, only fools fall

Eleanor finds Louis two hours later in the empty room with the note pressed to his chest and Harry's song on repeat.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr: @Takeherheartaway  
> Twitter: @Sweetenedlarryy


End file.
